August, 2009

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Monday, August 31st, 2009

Usually when times are rough I turn to inspiration, think about things, and move on. I have a collection of movies I watch over and over again and depending on my problem, I know which movie I should watch to get myself to think about things and help myself find answers. I have a quotes file and words I’ve kept written down from a wise friend–all of these things are where I turn for wisdom, for light, when things are hard and I have to pick myself up.

Right now nothing works. I watch new movies, read new books, new quotes, it doesn’t help. I have no wisdom for these problems, and the more I think about things, the more problems I come to see.

I need to do something, change some things, I see that much. Right now all I’m doing though is sitting here and waiting on my brain to figure out what to do next. Searching for answers I don’t know exactly how to find.

I guess this blog post is really vague, but there is so much it’s hard to sum it all up. Mainly my problem, I think, is loneliness. I guess I should make sure I really know what the problems are before I can figure out how to fix them though, right?

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Oh, the places you’ll go.

Saturday, August 22nd, 2009

It’s terrible to see that the last (and only) time I discussed our plans on here was back in April. This is probably because I try not to share this too much to avoid boring people, but since this really takes up a lot of my thoughts every single day, it is crazy not to talk/blog about it.

In April I shared that our plan is to get an RV and travel full time, we’ll hopefully be taking off late 2010/early 2011. I also said that we would be checking out an RV show in May, which we did do! There we discovered that we like fifth wheels that have layouts with the bedroom in the front, kitchen in the back.

Since then we work like crazy everyday, thinking of budgets and saving to buy the truck and the fifth wheel and everything we need to go to make these plans work. I keep finding more and more things to think about. I keep getting more excited, and more focused. I think about all the things that need to be taken care of, and what it will be like, the places we’ll go, the people we’ll meet.

Oh, I wish it was time to go now.

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far removed

Friday, August 14th, 2009

I went to high school in an extremely isolated small town in the cascade mountains, and I’m using that town for the setting of the novel I’m working on.

I keep looking at the town, staring at the hills, and thinking about what a unique experience it really was to live so far removed from the rest of the world.

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A Daring Adventure or Nothing

Thursday, August 13th, 2009

The thought occurred to me that I’m going stir crazy, and I immediately wondered how “stir crazy” is actually defined. I found this on wikipedia.

Stir crazy is a phrase that dates to 1908 according to the Oxford English Dictionary^[1] and the online Etymology Dictionary. Used among inmates in prison, it referred to a prisoner who became mentally unbalanced because of prolonged incarceration. It is based upon the slang stir (1851) to mean prison.

It is now used to refer to anyone that becomes restless from being stuck in one place too long, with a similar meaning to cabin fever.

Apparently, I’m using exactly the right term to describe how I feel. I feel stir crazy. I feel incarcerated. I hate that I get this way.

I hate staying in one place for too long. When I was a child we moved every few years, and now in adulthood I feel the urge to pack up and move after about a year in the same place. Even a few months without a nice long drive makes me a little crazy.

The last little road trip we took our car had a fit, we’re trying not to go anywhere until we buy a new one. It hasn’t been that long, but I feel like I could crawl out of my skin. It’s not just something I feel when I think about it, it’s a general all day feeling that makes it hard to sit still and stop myself from running down the road and hopping on a bus to anywhere.

I feel like I should be able to tell myself to stop it, sit still, you should be content with what you have. And then, as soon as I have the thought, I reject the idea completely. I don’t WANT to live like that. Life is a daring adventure or nothing, right?

It just doesn’t make things any easier right now.

I don’t really have any thoughts about what I’m supposed to do about the issue of right now and feeling stir crazy, but I don’t think I’d really rather feel any other way.

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time management

Friday, August 7th, 2009

I don’t really know how to balance my time, because I don’t have as much of it as I feel like I should. It’s hard not to focus on what I feel like I SHOULD have, instead of what I actually do.

I have less time because I have to rest more, because I get sick and tired on a daily basis. It cuts into my time to work on things, to write, to blog! I was working on getting much better about this time management business before my father passed away, and then it all just sort of fell apart. I’m working on it again, though!

In case you didn’t know, I’m a pretty big geek, and I LOVE me some Joss Whedon. On that note, I love Dollhouse! I can’t wait for the show to start up again on September 25th. Anyhow, I recently watched the unaired pilot and the 13th episode, Epitaph One, which will both be on the Dollhouse DVD. Epitaph One is absolutely amazing! I can’t tell you that enough. AMAZING. What a great show! I can’t wait for season two. I can understand why Fox didn’t air it, but ultimately I think they should have.

The unaired pilot. Wow. So far all I really have to say about it is that I really wonder how season one would have gone with that pilot, because it seems the show would have been completely different. I won’t say more for fear of spoiling you. If you haven’t been watching Dollhouse, you should catch up before season 2 starts!

Posted in daily, geek | 1 Response »